Carpet Diem
by Mickeymouse4everz
Summary: My rewrite of Carpet Diem. ***CONTAINS SPOILERS*** Dipper and Mabel are not siblings, but best friends in this.


A/N: Aww...I loved Carpet Diem, so I decided to rewrite it. Enjoy! (They are best friends in this, because this is sort of a prelude to my upcoming Gravity Falls fiction, which will have Pinecest...eventually. Wouldn't be Pine'cest' then, now would it though?) Contains spoilers if you haven't seen Carpet Diem...saw it on YouTube! :P

The camera pans to see an eyeball land in a cup. "TOTAL DOMINATION!" Mabel yelled while Dipper leaned against the doorway. "TOTAL MASTER OF MINI ATTIC GOLF! FROM THE 'SWISS ALPS' (a blowing fan) TO THE REGIONS OF DIPPER'S DIRTY LAUNDRY! WOOO!" Mabel shouted and did a little victory dance.

Dipper sighed and watched his best friend awkwardly dance. He then smiled and walked over. "Alright, time to show you how it's done on this course! Or floor. Or my dresser-" Dipper started. "JUST GO!" Mabel shouted and punched Dipper. "Ow." Dipper muttered.

He readied his shot and hit the eyeball, but it bounced around the room and crashed out the window. "OW, MY HEAD!" a disgruntled voice said outside. It was "Grunkle" Stan. "I should get bonus points for hitting Stan!" Dipper announced. Mabel gasped.

"Well, let's see how the score pig evens it out!" Mabel shouted. Waddles stood on a pile of Dipper's dirty laundry. He was currently eating the scoreboard. "Ok, he said it's out of bounds!" Mabel said, only to get punched on the arm. "YOU'RE out of bounds Mabel!" Dipper said, then realization dawned on him.

"That sounded so dirty Dipper." Mabel said with an odd expression on her face. The two awkwardly laughed, until Mabel poked Dipper's stomach with her golf club. Dipper poked her back, and somehow they were having a full on battle with them, until Mabel's cat alarm went off.

Mabel smiled. "Hey Dipper, I gotta go hang out with Candy and Grenda again tonight." She said while putting her golf club in Dipper's hands. Mabel turned around to shut the alarm off, and Dipper's smile morphed into that of a disappointed frown.

"Aw, again? But you can't leave mid-game." Dipper said. "I'm not leaving! They're coming to me!" Mabel said and did a derp face. "Duh." Dipper started to worry. "You don't mean a-" Dipper was saying, until he was cut off by Candy and Grenda in the doorway. "SLEEPOVER!" They simultaneously shouted, and Mabel grabbed their hands to go on the floor.

Dipper sighed and sat on his bed. Why was his best friend always taken away from him? It wasn't like this back at home. "I dare you to kiss Dipper!" Grenda said to Mabel. It was then that Dipper started paying attention. "Wait what?" He said. Mabel's brow creased in worry.

"You mean," Mabel pointed to Dipper sitting on his bed. "That one?!" Mabel finished and started screaming. "I CAN'T KISS HIM!" Mabel shouted and ran around in circles. Dipper joined her in screaming and running around, and it went on like this until Candy poked Mabel's side with her forks.

"Ow," She exclaimed and sat down. "I think I have to pass on this one." Mabel sighed. Greta started getting annoyed by Dipper running around and screaming. "Will someone shut him up?!" She said in her masculine voice. Candy threw a fork at him too.

"Ow!" He said. "Ok Mabel, we'll make a deal. Either your best friend sleeps outside tonight, or you kiss him!" Candy offered. "Your choice." Grenda added. Dipper frowned. He would lose either way.

Mabel bit her lip and rubbed her arms. "Uhhhh...well..." She said. Dipper sighed and grabbed a duffel bag from his bed. "Some friend." Dipper muttered and walked towards the doorway. "Sorry." Mabel mouthed to Dipper.

He walked outside while the girls were screaming about how crazy they were. Dipper dragged himself by that giant tiki pole or whatever that was and set a makeshift bed up. A wolf soon came outside and started lightly gnawing on Dipper's leg. He finally noticed and looked down, but then looked up at the attic window, where Mabel and her friends were jumping around the room, like maniacs.

"Sometimes, maybe she thinks that they're her new best friends. Do you think I'm being replaced?!" Dipper said. The wolf nodded. Dipper eventually managed to convince himself that everything would turn out okay, and that he wasn't replaced.

"It's cool!" He said, but was he trying to convince himself, or fate?

*Next morning*

"What happened last night?" Mabel asked. She had an awful headache. Candy was taped to the wall, and Grenda stepped out of a closet. "What's up party girl?" Candy greeted. Grenda was covered with lipstick kisses. "I don't know what happened last night, but let me tell you: I have no regrets!" Grenda said. Mabel felt like something was missing, but she couldn't quite place her finger on it.

Mabel got a mirror and stared at her reflection. Her bangs were sticking straight up, the room was a mess, and 'Party Girl' was scrawled on her forehead. "Hey guys, do you feel like something's missing?" Mabel asked her friends as she brushed her hair and picked her outfit out for the day.

"I'm missing one of my forks!" Candy exclaimed and tried to pull herself free from the wall. She succeeded but face-planted onto the floor. Grenda winced as she stepped out of her nightwear. "Ouch." "I mean like someone!" Mabel said as she put in her headband.

The girls finished their morning routine and then helped Mabel figure it out. They were all sitting on the floor of the attic thinking until Dipper burst in the doorway with a black eye and twigs all over his clothes. He also had a few scratches. "THAT'S WHAT WAS MISSING!" Mabel shouted. "We have to go now. Bye!" Candy waved good-bye as she and Grenda exited the room.

"You forgot about me," Dipper asked in a hurt voice. He brushed off a few twigs. "Thanks Mabel, you're the best friend ever." Dipper said. "Oh...want some pizza? IT'S GOT GLITTER ON IT!" Mabel shouted and waved her arms around. "NO I DON'T WANT PIZZA! LAST NIGHT AN OWL TRIED TO EAT MY TONGUE!" Dipper shouted.

"Great!" Mabel said and put a thumbs up. Dipper jumped off the bed. "NO, NOT GREAT," Dipper shouted at Mabel in frustration. "You're impossible to room with sometimes!" Dipper exclaimed and took his hat off and threw it on the floor. "Well, I am DELIGHTFUL to room with!" Mabel said and grinned.

"You're gonna be poked by the fun stick!" Mabel said and got a broken off branch from the floor. "Poke." Mabel said and poked Dipper with it. Dipper snatched the stick from her hands and broke it in half. Mabel gasped in horror.

"THE FUN STICK! YOU KILLED THE FUN STICK!" Mabel shouted and made another derp face. She then grabbed Dipper's shoulders and started to shake him. "YOU MURDERED THE FUN STICK!" She shouted at him. Dipper stood up. "I broke the fun stick because I am _sick_ of the fun stick. You are **not** being a good roommate, and **NOT** being a good friend," Dipper stated. "I think I need to have my own room."

Mabel's mouth dropped open. "B-but we...we've always-" Mabel choked out. Dipper sighed. "You even ruined the one best friend project we did together this summer, the golf course." Dipper said. "I'm going to go ask our boss for another room." With that, Dipper walked out of the room.

Mabel looked around the room. It was true. Their project was destroyed because Grenda loved to destroy things. She didn't want her friend-her best friend moving out because of one stupid sleepover! Mabel ran out into the hallway. "DIPPER, WAIT!" Mabel screamed as she tore down the hallway.

"Becoming a real man huh?" Stan asked Dipper. "Well, Mabel and I are kind of drifting apart." He hated to admit it, but Dipper thought it was true. Mabel even forgot about him last night. Stan looked shocked. "Whoa. What?! You two are like the Wonder Twins!" Stan exclaimed.

Dipper put his confused face on. "Twins?" He asked. "Well, you two sort of look like each other." Stan stated. Dipper thought for a second. "True, but my mom is waayyy more different from Mabel's!" Dipper exclaimed.

"Well, there's only my room and the attic. Only way you'd get a different room would be if there was some secret room in the shack!" Stan said and laughed. Just then, Stan was interrupted by Soos screaming.

"DUDES! I JUST FOUND SOME KIND OF NEW SECRET ROOM IN THE SHACK!" Soos screamed. Mabel pouted, but then realized maybe she could get the room. Dipper smiled too and ran with Mabel to where Soos was.

"I was cleaning out the bookcase, when BOOM! Mystery Door!" Soos explained. Stan opened the door, revealing a decent room with a huge blue carpet in the middle. They started filtering in.

"Whooaaa." Dipper said and looked closely at an owl calendar. "Classy!" Mabel said and blew dust off a mirror. "Uhughughkackkack!" Mabel coughed. Dipper knelt down. "Experiment 78? What is this place Stan?" Dipper asked.

"Another room to clean." Stan mumbled. Mabel laid down and started to make carpet angels. "It's so amazing!" Mabel said while she made an angel. Dipper noticed a key hanging on the door hook. "Ok, problem solved. I'll have this room!" Dipper smiled.

Mabel gulped. "Who said you get the room?!" She said and tackled Dipper. "Give me that!" "NO!" Mabel dug her knees into Dipper's chest. Stan and Soos both had on a duck face. "Whoa, cat-fight." Soos whispered. "I. Am. Not. A. Girl!" Dipper wheezed. Mabel kept trying to grab the key.

"Mabel...you're kind of..on..my..chest.." Dipper wheezed again. "Oh!" Mabel said and dropped. She was now straddling Dipper's chest. Dipper shut his eyes and turned away. "Can you kind of get off me now?" Dipper asked uneasily. Mabel looked down and noticed the awkward position they were in. "Oh, hehe, yeah sure," Mabel said. "BUT NOT BEFORE I GET THE KEY!" Mabel shouted and reached her arm out for the key, which Dipper was still holding. "No!" Dipper shouted.

"How long do you think it'll take for them to start making out already?" Soos asked Stan. "Well, I already bet $20 with Wendy that they'll start going out this summer. "WHAT?!" Both friends shouted at the same time. Mabel rolled off of Dipper.

"You guys are sickos!" Mabel shouted. "Uh, yeah!" Dipper added. Soos raised his eyebrows. Dipper turned to Mabel. "Do you think we would ever-" Dipper was going to ask. Mabel put a finger on his lips. "Shh..my musical moment," Mabel shouted in glee. "DON'T YOU WORRY, DON'T YOU WORRY CHIIIIIILLLD!" Mabel sang. "WE WILL NEVER EVER EVER BE WITH EACH OTHER!" Mabel shouted.

"Ok," Dipper said. "Well, I've gotten my answer." He scratched his head and shoved the key in his vest. Soos and Stan looked irritated. "You probably broke the boy's heart!" Stan exclaimed. "Yeah dude." Soos added. Mabel shut her mouth. "Dipper doesn't mind! Besides, maybe I will use my glitterness to get the key!" Mabel said and winked.

Dipper's eyes opened wide and he nodded no. Stan thought of an idea to get work done. "Well," Stan sidled over to the duo and took the key out of Dipper's vest. "Whoever treats me best will get the key!" Stan said with an evil grin on his face.

Dipper sighed and looked at Mabel. "Well, I'll do it." He agreed. Mabel looked hurt for a split second. _"He doesn't want to live with his awesome best friend that badly?" _Mabel thought. "Sure, I'll be in toooooo." Mabel stretched out the word 'too.' "Ok, cool." Stan said.

"You look really good in that hat Stan!" Mabel said and winked at him. "10 suck-up points for Mabel!" Stan announced. Soos shrugged and exited the room. "Uh..well...you're hat looks cool!" Dipper said with uncertainty. "-10 points for negativeness for Dipper!" Stan announced again. Mabel fist-pumped the air while Dipper walked back to the attic room.

"YES YES, AHEAD OF DIPPER, YES YES-" Mabel was doing another victory dance, until she noticed Dipper dejectedly walking down the hallway. "Hey, what's wrong Dipping-sauce?" Mabel caught up to Dipper. "You." Dipper said, his voice laced with venom. Mabel was shocked. "What did I do?!" Mabel asked desperately.

"Well, let's see, totally forgot about me, no considerate feelings about me stuck in the forest, considers Candy and Greta more best friends than me!" Dipper said. He was counting the reasons with fingers.

"Oh, well, sorry for the first two, but what's with the last one? I didn't say that!" Mabel exclaimed. "Sure act like it." Dipper said and quickened his pace. "Why are we even having this conversation?" Mabel asked. "BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF I CONSIDER YOU MY BEST FRIEND ANYMORE, STRANGER!" Dipper shouted at her and turned around to run downstairs.

Mabel stopped short. "Did he just call me stranger?" She said to herself. "Dipping-sauce!" She cried out. No one answered. "Guess I'll just win that room!" Mabel called desperately down the hallway. Dead silence again. "I think I need to pay a visit to Therapist Waddles!" Mabel said and entered the attic room.

-|-...-|-...

Meanwhile, Dipper was outside mowing the lawn and trying to figure out how to get out of the mess that was Mabel and Dipper's friendship. "Don't want to miss that spot!" Stan called out. Dipper wiped the sweat off his forehead.

After 10 more dreadful minutes, Dipper finally finished the job. "30 suck-up points for Dipper!" Stan announced. Dipper went to the room he was trying to get. "Worth it, when I beat that pathetic excuse for a friend Mabel!" Dipper told himself.

Mabel was standing outside the door, hesitating to knock, since she could hear Dipper talking to himself in there. "That pathetic excuse for a friend Mabel!" was what Mabel could hear. She was shocked again. Was he really going to throw away like 11 years of friendship over her new friends? Then, Mabel conjured up a theory.

"He's jealous!" Mabel whispered to himself. She jumped up and down in excitement and leaned her ear on the door. Then, Dipper opened the door and Mabel almost face-planted on Dipper. "Oh god, I'm so sorry, I-...oh hi." Dipper greeted Mabel coldly.

"Dippy, why are you acting so mean? Waddles doesn't like it!" Mabel insisted. Dipper took a deep breath. "Simple. You have no common decency for the one person who's PUT UP WITH YOU FOR 11 YEARS." Dipper said and threw Mabel onto the shag carpet.

Unbeknownst to both Dipper and Mabel, the carpet started sparking. Maybe because Dipper had thrown his shoes onto the dusty couch. Dipper slid his feet on the shag carpet. Mabel rolled her sweater sleeves up. Dipper touched Mabel's arm and shocked her. Mabel gasped and rubbed her arm.

Dipper started to build up a lot more static, and the second time he shocked her, something extraordinary happened. She got a tiny burn mark. "Dipper!" Mabel said with her mouth agape. (A/N: TROLLED YOU!) "Stop shocking me!" Dipper smirked.

Mabel put her game face on. "Well, you know I just finished an omelet in the shape of Stan's face. I AM A SUCK-UP NINJA! You might as well just give up now! Is that cool?" Now it was Mabel's turn to smirk. She stuck a hand out.

"I'll win this room somehow! I'll have my own space and you can have your 'new' best friends over. We'll never ever share things again!" Dipper said and slapped Mabel's hand. All of that electricity that had built up transferred and the two crashed on the ground. Dipper was the first to wake up.

"Hey Mabel, what happened?" Dipper asked, currently forgetting about their fight. "I dunno- Hey Dipper? Why are you wearing my clothes," Mabel felt her face and hair. It had a hat on it. "And my face?! Wait, am I in your body?" Mabel replied. "AM I IN YOUR BODY?!" Dipper shouted. They both screamed.

"AAAHHHHHH!" They shouted simultaneously. Suddenly, Mabel thought of something. "Umm...what's gonna happen if we have to go to the bathroom?!" Mabel asked worriedly. Dipper looked ready to barf. "And shower, and change-" Mabel counted.

"It-it won't last forever...right?" Dipper (in Mabel) got up. Mabel also got up. "I never really noticed how short your shorts are Dipper. Why are they like that? And what's with the-" Mabel asked but was shushed by Dipper.

"I feel so...awkward and sweaty!" Mabel commented and made another derp face. "Great, how long is this supposed to last?!" Dipper said. "Well, if I have to stay in you, I'd like totally lose the room!" Mabel said and waved her eyes around. "Yeah..." Dipper said.

"Wait, I'm in you, which means I can sabotage you, which means the room goes to me! We switched by all the electricity built up," Dipper exclaimed. "HEY STAN, I'VE ALWAYS HATED YOU!"

The friends continued trying to sabotage each other, with Dipper dumping cereal on him and Mabel trying to break everything. (A/N: Trying to summarize this part, and Dipper and Mabel are the only ones to switch) They both had the same goal in mind. To get that room.

Somehow, Mabel ended up at the sleepover that she, or he, really didn't want to do with Candy and Grenda. Mabel was stuck learning things she really didn't need to know. "And that's how babies are formed!" Stan finished. Mabel was shuddering on the chair.

"Good-bye childhood..." She whispered. Meanwhile, Dipper had finally gotten out of that god-awful attic. He had picked up part of the destroyed Eiffel Tower to keep as a keepsake. He was just about to shove it in his vest, but then realized he was Mabel.

Dipper decided to just sit against the grandfather clock and think. He pulled a picture of him and Mabel out of Mabel's sweater pockets. Dipper stuffed the Eiffel tower thing in there and tore the picture up. He was going to use it as confetti for when he won.

Just then, he saw his body enter the room. "Mabel?" Dipper called out. "MABEL!" Dipper yelled. Mabel looked up and saw Dipper beckoning to her. "Congratulations Dipper. You won." Mabel said and threw the key on the floor. "Have fun in your stupid room." Mabel said and got up.

Dipper whooped and threw the ripped upnpicture confetti. "I WON I WON, YEAH, YEAH, NO MORE SHARING, YEAH, YEAH!" Dipper danced around. Mabel picked up some of the confetti. "Dipper...was this the picture that I had in my pocket?!" Mabel asked.

"Yeah." Dipper replied and continued dancing around. "But Dipper, that was the picture of when we found the Loch Ness Crazy Old Guy..." Mabel said and she looked like she was trying not to cry. Dipper was too busy dancing.

"That's IT!" Mabel cried. She dragged Dipper to the room and switched their bodies back. Then, Mabel tackled him. "Why is this room so inportant? I didn't even want to move out!" Mabel said. "I didn't either!" Dipper cried. "Wait...what?!" Mabel asked. "I didn't want to move out either!" Dipper repeated.

"Why did we have this whole fight then?!" Mabel asked and got off Dipper. "Well, you started hanging out with your friends more often, and I felt kind of left out. I know I'm a guy, but I'm supposed to be your best friend. Lately, I'm option #2 or something. The only thing we ever did together was finish that golf course, and you and your friends destroyed it in one move. It's been fun hanging out with you this summer, but you just make all your time for Candy and Grenda, and I'm like...in the dust," Dipper explained.

"I figured that if I got my own room, then you could just hang out with them more often and I wouldn't have to sleep outside. Well..andsoitwouldhurtmeless." Dipper rushed.

"Aw Dipper...Can you repeat the last part more slowly?" Mabel asked. Dipper took a deep breath. "Ok...so it wouldn't hurt me as much when I saw you palling around with them."

He was surprised when he got a death hug from Mabel. "You're...kind...of..choke...ing...me." Dipper gasped. Mabel smiled. "You can have the room!" Mabel said. Dipper frowned but took the key. "Thanks..." He said and half-heartedly packed his stuff.

As soon as he hauled it all down to his new room, he came upstairs and said his good-nights to everyone. When Dipper shut the door to Mabel's room...she felt weird. Alone.

Out of habit, she started to say good night to Dipper. "Good night Dip-" Mabel sighed. She squeezed her stuffed animal. "I don't like being alone Fluffy." Mabel said to her stuffed animal, but buried herself under the covers.

-|-...-|-...

"You can get rid of that blue carpet!" Dipper told Stan, who did what he was told. He then turned the lights off and got into his bed. "Night Mabel." Dipper said and frowned. "Oh." Dipper sighed and got up. He packed a pillow and blanket.

-|-...-|-...

Mabel tried getting to sleep, but she was always so used to Dipper's mumbling about mysteries and stuff. She got up and decided to recreate the golf course, but tripped over her sweater. "Ow! What is in there?!" Mabel complained as she rubbed her toes. She reached in the pocket and pulled out half of the Eiffel tower from Hole 11.

Mabel put that in the middle of the floor. "Perfect." She said, but her voice cracked. She shoved the tower under her bed, since it made her think of Dipper.

Just as she was getting into her bed, there was a knock on the door. Mabel groaned and got up. "Dipper?!" She asked in shock. "Yeah," Dipper smiled a sheepish smile. "I figured I can sleep over?" Mabel punched his arm. "I missed your babbling about things that make no sense Dipper."

They decided to maybe start building another gold course some time.


End file.
